Несколько месяцев назад, дело было в старом блоге, я начала вести йога-дневник. Мне хотелось записывать всякие интересные изменения, которые происходили в моем организме. Но потом моя платформа полетела, я блог забросила и давно ничего на эту тему не писала. Хочу исправить ситуацию сегодня.
Йогой я начала заниматься чуть больше года назад. Еще до переезда во Францию я занималась хатха-йогой в Москве. В Париже не повезло найти интересную студию, где меня бы не раздражали одухотворенные лица. Некоторые студии вообще напоминали секту. Поиски я забросила и вернулась к занятиям много лет спустя.
И вот около двух лет назад, когда я в очередной раз решила круто изменить жизнь, перестать бежать только за результатом, не замечая, собственно, самой жизни, я снова вернулась к йоге.
Никаких целей у меня не было, никакого плана, я не собиралась ни стать бодрее, веселее, здоровее или одухотвореннее. Я не искала ни покоя, ни счастья, ни внутренней вечной радости. Мне просто захотелось повторить эксперимент и посмотреть, что из этого выйдет.
Несколько месяцев назад я открыла для себя направление йоги, которое называется аштанга. Вообще эти «йогоделения» вполне условные. Йога стала настолько популярной, что каждый маломальский гуру изобретает свой вид йоги.
Когда говорят о йоге, особенно здесь, в Европе, обычно подразумевают только физическую ее сторону, то есть асаны, или, если хотите, упражнения. На самом деле в йоге восемь ступеней, первые две из которых — это своего рода нравственные заповеди. Что хорошо, а что плохо, грубо говоря. За ними идет третья ступень — физические упражнения, затем дыхательные практики, концентрация, медитация и так далее.
Не буду вдаваться в подробности всех восьми ступеней, потому что я не специалист. Скажу только пару слов об аштанга-йоге. Особенность ее заключается в том, что асаны в ней разбиты на группы. Асаны каждой группы повторяются одна за другой без перерыва. Всегда одни и те же и всегда в одной последовательности. Похоже немного на танец или на активную медитацию.
Аштанга-йога требует выносливости, силы, гибкости и устойчивости. Людям, плохо подготовленным физически, эта практика дается тяжело. Первое время мне было так трудно, что я почти после каждого занятия испытывала ужасную физическую усталость.
Аштанга-йогой в идеале нужно заниматься каждый день. Традиционно, ее занимаются, если не ошибаюсь, шесть раз в неделю. У меня не всегда выходит каждый день, но минимум 4 раза я на йогу отвожу.
Так вот в последнее время я начала замечать интересный “побочный эффект” от йоги. Возник он в тот момент, когда я начала заниматься регулярно, почти каждый день.
У меня появилось много энергии, очень много энергии, так много, что я начала задумываться над тем, что с нею делать! Обычно люди пытаются найти способ пополнить свои энергетические запасы, я же, наоборот, пыталась от них избавиться. Вставала в пять утра, ходила в зал каждый день, ездила на работу на велосипеде, не могла усидеть ни на одной встрече, не могла заснуть по ночам.
В одной книге о йоге я прочла совет использовать эту энергию для достижения «высшей цели». Но у меня, честно говоря, нет высшей цели. Это вокруг все хотят изменить мир к лучшему, побороть бедность, избавиться от пластмассы, понизить температуру… Я же живу обычной, простой жизнью, которая мне очень нравится, и никаких завоеваний не планирую.
Поговорила с нашим преподавателем. Он мне говорит, что вот он, например, использует эту энергию, чтобы помогать другим. Ну, там сумки старушке поднести, выслушать человека, которому плохо. Я не уверена, что такой социопат, как я, сможет все это вынести, поэтому с помощью ближнему не складывается.
В общем такой вот побочный эффект от йоги. Сил много, а куда их деть — не всегда понятно. Я пока решила бросить все на учебу, на японский, на дом, на спорт, на детей, на компанию Камильчика, на блог, на работу, на вечеринки в конце концов. Даже абонемент взяла велосипедный, чтобы перед работой немного растрясать это желания скакать и прыгать.
Но пока у меня ощущения, что чем больше я двигаюсь, тем больше у меня энергии, и тем больше вопросов, что с ней делать….
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