Хроника Парижской Жизни

Небольшой перерыв

Не успела опубликовать пост о том, как много энергии мне дает йога, как вдруг эта самая энергия меня покинула. Проснулась сегодня утром, все болит, холодно, за окном темно, никакого желание выбираться из постели не было.

Да, такие дни тоже случаются. Они, конечно, неизбежны. Невозможно носиться как заведенная 24 часа в сутки. Раньше я заставляла себя продолжать двигаться. Что бы ни случилось, как бы плохо я себя ни чувствовала. “Никогда не сдавайся” — с таким лозунгом я жила всю прошлую жизнь.

Этот же лозунг слышала от коллег, друзей, учителей… И как-то свыклась с мыслью о том, что чтобы добиться чего-то в жизни, нужно постоянно двигаться, двигаться, двигаться, несмотря на все препятствия.

Но несколько лет назад что-то произошло. Сложно определить один момент в прошлом, который вызвал изменение. Скорее всего это набор обстоятельств и ситуаций.

Я поняла, что в жизни иногда полезно сдаться. Остановиться, поставить крест на каком-то деле или занятии. Полезно и важно честно себе сказать “я устала”, “я больше не могу”, “я больше не способна”, “это не работает”. Потому что периоды неудач, усталости и бессилия, часто идут рука об руку с периодом анализа, переоценки ценностей и открытий. Когда заканчиваешь одну книгу, за ней следует новая история.

Осознав это, я перестала сопротивляться. Не совсем, конечно. Я начала к себе прислушиваться. Научилась распознавать сигналы своего организма. Как сегодня, например. Сегодня утром он мне сказал: “Спи!” Я подчинилась. На спорт в итоге не пошла. Осталась под одеялом. Решила устроить небольшой перерыв.

Нужно, правда, следить за тем, чтобы эта пауза не растянулась на несколько дней.

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