Многие наверняка слышали о погромах, устроенных у нас в Париже недовольными реформами французского президента. Не буду в деталях об этом писать. В интернете куча информации, фотографий — ужаса, короче. Баррикады, погибшие, раненые, покалеченные, сожженные машины, разбитые витрины. “Кошмар!” — как любит повторять Викуська.
Но не об этом речь. Мне всегда интересны всякие социологические и психологические аспекты таких событий. Реакции сторонних людей на происходящее.
Я не читаю газет и не смотрю телевизор. С тех пор, как случилось Кемерово. Тогда я очень долго не могла прийти в себя. Читала, смотрела, слушала, медленно погружаясь в темное, вязкое, тяжелое. Потом решила, что хватит. Я не стала равнодушной. Просто отгородилась от огромного потока информации, которая забирает все душевные силы и ничего не дает взамен. Теперь все сведения я получаю от окружающих. Если случаются какие-то трагедии, обязательно кто-нибудь расскажет.
И вот эта история в Париже прошла немного мимо меня. Узнала о том, что произошло, от знакомого, который, увидя мои сториз в истаграме из центра Парижа, посоветовал быть осторожнее.
Вчера вечером прочла пост одной француженки в инстаграме по поводу этих погромов. Она возмущалась тем, что народ в инстаграме не посвятил ни одной фотографии этой теме. Вот люди гибнут, пожары, погромы, а в инстаграме сплошные дети, Адвент-календари, елки, праздник……..
Я немного зависла на этом комментарии. Мне всегда интересно такие комментарии слышать и читать. Откуда берется это желание навязать другим свою манеру страдать и радоваться? Я всегда думала, что не существует универсальной формы для выражения своего горя. Почему-то некоторым кажется, что если какая-то хрень у тебя в жизни случилась, обязательно нужно рыдать, обливаться слезами, выходить из окна, приходить на работу ненакрашенной.
В такие моменты хочется попросить невидимого собеседника не навязывать мне не только своего горя, но и своей формы его переживания.
На работе, когда случаются стрессовые ситуации, я обычно закрываюсь и мало общаюсь с коллегами. Это моя форма справляться со стрессом, максимально концентрируясь на стрессовой ситуации. То же самое и с физической болью. Когда я ходила на курсы для беременных, мне там давали кучу советов, как справиться с болью. И все этим советы крутились вокруг способов отвлечься от боли. Я понимала, что в моем случае это никогда не сработает. Потому что мне легче с болью справляться, максимально на ней концентрируясь, а не игнорируя ее.
Но это я. Другим, возможно, нужно будет в запой уйти, розовых зайцев накупить, засыпать инстаграм картинками счастливых прошлых моментов или видео скачущих бобров.
Это ведь тоже толерантность — научиться не навязывать своего определения горя или счастья.
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