Две последние недели я открывала холодильник с нескрываемым ужасом и тревогой. А вдруг там все еще остался салат Оливье? Или, может, кусок мяса запеченного? Или не дай бог торта???
Я не могла больше есть. Не могла, но ела.
И салаты, и торты, и конфеты, и булки с шоколадом, и даже — не говорите, пожалуйста, никому — майонез ложками. А когда приходила в себя, намазывала его на черный хлеб, купленный в русском магазине, чтобы совесть успокоить.
И вот каждый год одно и то же. Каждый год. Каждый год обещаю себе не готовить на три месяца вперед — и каждый год не выполняю обещания. Наша ситуация осложняется еще и тем, что салаты приходится аж два раза, с разницей в неделю: сначала 24 декабря, а потом еще и 31.
Я не могу понять, почему меня каждый раз вот так несет. Казалось бы, ну, приготовила тазик салатика, ну, бог с ним, съела — и успокойся. Так ведь нет. За тазиком несутся колбасы, за ними рулеты, потому еще курица жареная, тонны шоколада, шампанское, вино и пиво, по пути мелькает ром.
И лежишь потом на диване, ругаешь себя, говоришь себе “больше никогда”, а утром открываешь холодильник — и все по новой.
Самое интересно, что в обычные дни я всегда держу себя в руках. На завтрак хлопья почти без сахара, бананом и кокосовым молоком. На обед — рыба с овощами на пару. Небольшой перекус в виде двух фруктов, а вечером что-нибудь легкое, вегетарианское.
Я даже в офисе не срываюсь, где постоянно жуют и чаи гоняют, едят шоколад и булки с вареньем. Я всегда отказываюсь — и с легкостью. Привыкла. Все удивляются, а я собой ужасно горжусь. Чем чаще говорю “нет”, тем сильнее горжусь. Может, поэтому и отказываюсь.
В общем в обычные дни я держусь. Но стоит наступить праздникам, у меня конкретно сносит крышу. В ход, то есть в рот, идет все. Буквально все. Все то, на что я обычно смотрю свысока, едой не считая. Все то, что содержит такое количество сахара, что потом от трясучки невозможно заснуть.
И главное — остановиться практически невозможно. Я пыталась не есть булки, пыталась не пить вино. Но в итоге с булок перешла на шоколад, а с вина на пиво!
Не могу больше.
А ведь есть те, кто Новый год не любят. Вы не верите? Я тоже сначала не поверила. А они есть! Ни салатов им не надо, ни праздников, ни шампанского, ни концерта по телевизору, ни бутербродов со шпротами…. Так, посидеть, спокойно с друзьями — и спать.
И вот я одинаково не понимаю ни тех, кто, как я, готовят на три месяца вперед, а потом сметают все это за пару дней. Ни других — которые Новый год не любят, чудес им не нужно, Дедов Морозов всяких. Оба этих типа — сумасшедшие, ненормальные, неправильные.
Но сумасшествие, заправленное майонезом, мне все-таки ближе.
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